Happy Breakup Season!
Ask any divorce lawyer or counselor, the six weeks between New Year’s and Valentine’s Day are when the most breakups happen. Nobody wants to be alone during the holidays and nobody wants to buy an expensive gift for someone they don’t want to be with anymore.
About half of my intuitive readings in December were about relationship issues, the other half were about job status by the way.
Here are some things you should know if you considering ending a romantic connection:
You will know when it’s the right time: I can’t say how you know but almost everyone who has been through this tells me that once they made the decision they felt a sense of relief and a weight lifted off their shoulders.
Yes, it’s really sad but I have heard a lot of “Now I feel like I can stop pretending everything is ok and start healing” “Now at least I can be honest with myself and my family” If you are not feeling that way and you have more mental conflict than clarity about breaking up, then it’s not the right time and you should wait till you really feel it.
Men and woman do breakups differently: A woman who breaks up in January has been thinking about it since September, and by the time she pulls the plug she has already done all the crying and most of the packing and is sometimes even ready to move on by then. This often hits the men like a ton of bricks because “they never saw it coming” in fact very often they tell me they thought their relation was in better shape because she seemed happier..HA! that’s because she found a new apartment near the beach.
The Dudes however, tend to do it quickly, almost unfeelingly and think about how they “feel” later. This means that two to three months afterward, when it really hits them, and it always does, they reconsider and send their ex a text for some made-up reason: “What’s up?” or “Did I leave my brown towel at your house?” HA! By then the woman is so far over him they barely remember his name.
Sometimes you need a lawyer: Women make this mistake ALL THE FREAKIN TIME!!! Ladies, a good lawyer is your friend. For some reason men know this but women don’t. If you need to get divorced, if you own a business, you have kids or even if have you a dog together, paying to get advice from a lawyer is money well spent. Don’t be the woman who says to me “oh, he would never do that” then discovers and empty bank account and that the car was never in her name.
Seriously, I had a client once whose husband “a really good Christian man” by the way, pretending to be out of the country on a work assignment for 6 months when in reality he was the next town over living with his girlfriend. She found out because the girlfriend bragged to her hairdresser and my client went to see that hairdresser. Seriously, people will try to get away with some cray-zee things. My client refused a lawyer because she thought he would never try to cheat her out of money only love, dignity and respect but never money..”no, not him” It ended badly for her by the way. Don’t be that woman!!
Your children will be OK: Everyone cries when their family gets torn apart but let me assure you, I have neverhad an adult client come into my office and say they wished their unhappy parents had stayed together. I have had countless adults tell me they didn’t understand why their miserable parents stayed together when they “clearly hated each other.” The children may say otherwise in the moment but, ultimately, they do want you to be happy.
Your happiness is important too: If you are with the wrong person it means out there somewhere is the right person seeking you and finding that you are too busy “trying to make it work” when you should be single. Just saying…
Same is true for your partner: People tell me they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by letting them go but keep in mind if they are not your ideal partner you are not really theirs as well. In a way, you are hurting four people (your exes ideal match too) by not being true to your needs and wants. It’s ok everyone will be ok after a few months post breakup.
The bottom line is, you are worthy of love, you deserve love, you are loved, and you are important. Make sure you honor yourself and your feelings and do what you need in order to create the most happiness for yourself and your family. Sometimes that means making the hard choice of leaving; sometimes the hard choice of staying and getting counseling. Love yourself enough to make hard choices and know that you are loved.
Much love,
Jill K Thomas CHT
Soul Connect Transformations
Hypnotherapy and Intuitive Readings
760-803-2841
www.jillkthomas.com
Author of the books “Tales from the Trance” & “Feed your Real Hunger”
Appointments available Globally by Video Chat