Love is in the air, or is it? If you are a guy in a romantic relationship, this is your reminder that she wants something shinny that comes in a little box. If you are a woman this is your reminder that woman can by things for themselves too.
But I don’t want to talk about that I want to talk about Narcissism!!??
But Jill Why Narcissism in a blog about Valentine’s day?
Well, the truth is a big chunk of you are either actively involved with or have been involved with a Narcissist and those people can make your life a special kind of miserable so keep reading.
Narcissists are super romantic, kind, loving and just amazing in the beginning but as the relationship goes on they show themselves to be:
-Self-centered, Manipulative, Liars, Belittling, Needy, Controlling often with a side of cheating.
And soooo much more, all of it ranging from bad to realy really bad. Plus, once they are in your life, they are super hard to get rid of.
The cycle of a Narcissistic romantic relationship:
Love Bombing: “I have never felt this way before” “You are the greatest person I have ever known” “I am so in love with you”.
All of this said WAY to soon in the relationship, like in the first week usually followed with a declaration that they want to go exclusive and/or move in together. Pump the breaks! This is a warning sign not a sign that he is “The one”.
Devaluing: “you would be so much prettier if you would…(lose weight-yuk!), Dye your hair, go to college, or whatever) “you think you are so…but you are not”.
“But wait where did that nice guy go? And what can I do differently to get them back? Maybe I really need to lose some weight (No! you are perfect).
Hovering: After you have said “Ba-Bye” or they have rejected you in some humiliating way then starts love bombing you all over again. “I’m so sorry I will never do anything like that again…” “But it was kind of your fault too because you never lost those 10 pounds” Double yuck!!
You are sucked back in for what I call the “Rinse and repeat” phase.
Does any of that sound familiar? I really hope not but if it does keep reading and read next weeks newsletter/blog as well.
So, Jill all of that is true, so now what?
Well, this blog is already too long so more on that next week but for now…
On valentine’s day go buy some good ice crème. None of that skinny cow crap-Ben & Jerrys for sure and sit down to watch the “Surviving Narcissism” for an hour or two. You won’t feel better, but you will have an idea who, or what you are dealing with and what to do about it. Then go buy yourself something shinning in a little box. *And stay tuned for the rest next week.
The most important thing is the remember that you are loved, you are important, and you matter, no matter what or who makes you feel otherwise. Know that this valentine’s day, the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself and keep that relationship healthy and sacred.
You are loved.
Jill K Thomas CHT
Soul Connect Hypnotherapy & Intuitive Readings
Author of the books “Tales from the Trance” & “Feed your Real Hunger”
Appointments available Globally by Video Chat