Hello everyone! Since I haven’t written anything this week I thought I would give you an excerpt from my new book “Tales from the trance”. I will warn you this one is longer than usual but I am sure you will like it.
If after reading you feel inspired to buy the whole book-which you should its great. You can by clicking HERE
My lunch date with a Cop and the reason I wrote this book
Several years ago while my practice was still new, I was at a self-help seminar in LA…being a bit of a junkie for this type of thing, I can’t even tell you which one it was. Around noon, our instructor told us to go to lunch with the last person in the room whom you would normally spend time with.
I spotted my guy right away, a very large African American man with tattoos all over his arms, and pairing with him seemed inevitable as he was walking right towards me. I asked, “Are you my lunch date?” to which he replied, “It would seem so, ma am.” “Great! You drive I’ll pay” I said. What followed was one of the most interesting and enlightening noon breaks I have ever had.
It turned out that my new acquaintance was a cop who worked vice, frequently undercover, and as such, spent much of his time with people the rest of us would never want to be around. One of the main differences between us popped out right away when he mentioned that he was armed at all times.
“What?” I gawked. “Even now, at a self-help seminar?” Stunned, I hoped he wasn’t about to show me his gun!
“Yes, at all times. What I do is dangerous, and I want to be prepared.”
I never, ever intend to have a job where I need to be armed at all times as a basic precaution, so I could see right away that we lived very different lives in some fundamental ways. Regardless of this, it was our similarities, not our differences, that struck me the most after our lunch together.
We were both products of a violent home life at the hands of our fathers, from whom our mothers failed to protect us. We both had decided early on that the cycle of violence in our families was going to end with us, which is why we had signed up for self-help classes. We were both trying to make ourselves healthier people so we could create better futures for us and any family we might have.
The policeman even explained that his tattoos were art, and that each one had meaning to him. Looking at them more closely, I realized that they really were quite beautiful.
My lunch date turned out to be a very interesting person, and I’m so glad I had the opportunity to spend time with him. It occurred to me that in the “real world,” we wouldn’t likely have met unless something bad had happened and I’d needed to call the police for help. That seemed kind of sad.
In thinking about this, I also realized that people in general don’t spend enough time with others who are different than themselves. I don’t only mean different races, but different religions, lifestyles, sexual orientations, and nationalities. We don’t get the opportunities to hear others’ stories, share in their experiences, and learn by seeing how they do things. We miss out on all the new input and perspectives we might gain from reaching outside our comfort zone.
On the way back to class, we happened to be driving through Brentwood, so my companion asked if I wanted to see the house where Nicole Brown Simpson had been killed. He knew where it was. I said, “Hmm. Something creepy and morbid, that might be haunted? Heck yeah!!” Oddly enough, on the drive over there, we were pulled over by a patrolman for what appeared to be no reason. While one of the officer’s talked to my date the other came to my side of the car and asked if I was ok. Perplexed I asked “Why wouldn’t I be, do you know something I don’t?” He didn’t answer and they let us go pretty quickly and without much discussion when he found out he was dealing with a fellow cop.
Heading back to class, there was silence in the car. I broke in saying, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” he asked me. “You didn’t do anything.” More silence, and then, “Don’t worry about it. That happens all the time.”
“That’s why I’m sorry,” I told him. “Because that never happens to me.”
I don’t pretend to know what it’s like to be an African American, or a police officer doing a dangerous job for ridiculously low pay, but that lack of comprehension is what happens when we limit our interactions to people just like us. Acceptance of others’ differences can only come through communicating with them. It’s hard to dislike someone you understand, even if you don’t agree with them.
It may be more than a little weird to ask someone very dissimilar from you out to lunch, but if you can, I hope the experience will be as hugely rewarding and enlightening as mine was. That one lunch date of mine changed my view of the world and people forever—a little empathy goes a long way in creating peace among us.
This incident is the reason I wrote this book. I was hoping to shed light on lives, lifestyles and people that may be different than yours. I have worked with Police officers, prostitutes, homemakers, programmers, church deacons and just about everything in between and I have learned a great deal from those people. My hope is that you see that at the end of the day we really aren’t as different from each other.
Day in and day out I hear from clients with issues I see all the time expressing how alone they feel in their struggles how they feel like they are the only one. They are sometimes surprised when I say “you are unique but your problem isn’t, many people have that issue and it can be resolved. I also wish that people are able to see that they aren’t that we aren’t so different after all. We all feel that we are faking it, have difficult relationship issues and fears we don’t understand.
As human beings are all connected by our desire to love, be loved and feel connected. And it is that among other things that makes us all the same.
If I could have one wish for something I would like you, the reader to get from this book is that you are important. You are worth healing and that no matter how difficult your struggles are they can be resolved. You have something very important and very special to share with the world. Please don’t let your light be diminished by anything or allow anyone else to make you feel small. You aren’t.
I love you all and thank you so much for letting me share these stories with you in the spirit of connection.
One last thing for my fellow healers and healers-to-be: know that we are all in this together and that you are loved, supported, and valued for your efforts regardless of what the world (or your boss, if you’re working for others) might say! Don’t ever forget that.
To all of you, I wish you limitless love. Thank you for reading.
Jill K Thomas CHT
Soul Connect Hypnotherapy
Author of the books “Tales from the Trance” & “Feed your Real Hunger”
Appointments available Globally by Video Chat